Nothing clever

  I’m sorry you guys.  I don’t have anything clever, or poignant or even all that interesting to say today.  It’s kind of been the week from hell.

  First off, last Saturday, while I was working in the yard in the beautiful sunshine, I got horribly, horribly sunburned.  G was in the bathroom with me while I was putting on my sunscreen and he decided he wanted some.  I wasn’t about to miss an opportunity where he was actually happy to have me sunscreening him, but it meant I got distracted from the fact I had only gotten one of my own shoulders.  The entire left side of my back and shoulder got fried to a crisp.
Good news: Spray on sunscreen works really well (on the parts of your body you actually put it on)
Bad news:  The parts you miss will keep you from sleeping for a good 5 days afterwards.
  Sunday was a more or less uneventful Easter (aside from the occasional gasp of pain when I forgot my sunburn and sat back heavily in a chair and the whole “not sleeping” thing), but Monday evening our dishwasher broke.
Good news: Uhm…I’ve got nothing.  We maybe saved on water?  Probably not.
Bad news: My. Dishwasher. Broke.  I’ve got two weeks before exams, I’m too busy for this!
  Tuesday was mostly maintenance.  I was utterly exhausted by not sleeping well since Saturday and now all the dishes were going to have to be hand washed or the dishwasher was going to have to be manually filled with water.  G got crazy clingy so I just cuddled up with him and planned on getting everything done Wednesday while he was at daycare.
Good news: Cuddling with G is freaking awesome.  Also, when denied more chocolate and told it was a “treat” he glared at me and said “We’ll see ’bout ‘dat”, which made me laugh for like 10 minutes straight.
Bad news: Still was exhausted, still had a ton to get done.  Also, it snowed.  To spite me, I’m sure.
Thanks for that Mother Nature…
  Now Wednesday…Wednesday was the pinnacle of this “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” week.  (Obviously, if after this week I’m not gladiator strong, I’m going to have to be putting in complaints to the “Misleading Song Lyrics of America” association)
  Having fallen behind earlier in the week, I got it into my head that I was going to get hopped up on caffeine and “DO ALL THE THINGS”.  I don’t drink coffee and am a huge lightweight when it comes to caffeine, but in a misguided early morning moment, I decided “it’s only coffee, what’s the worst that can happen?”                       …oh honey child…
  I dropped G at daycare and was at home prepping my breakfast by quarter to 8.  I made myself an entire French press full of coffee and proceeded to dump it into my mug with spoonfuls of sugar, large amounts of milk and a touch of chocolate sauce.  …as I said, I don’t drink coffee.  I sat down at the table with my egg and my toast and downed my first cup.
It was such a beautiful morning.  I had no clue what horrible things were coming.
  One cup in and things were going well.  I poured a second cup and headed upstairs to work on homework.  I finished my homework for Thursday night and my second cup of coffee more or less in unison.  I changed G’s sheets and headed downstairs to refill and throw a load in the wash.
  I grabbed my third cup of coffee (and the french press) and headed back up to the computer to start my work for my Monday class.  
  …to understand why I didn’t notice that I was starting to get the jitters at this point, you have to realize that I normally find my Monday class aggravating.  Like, really aggravating.  Aggravating enough that I very seriously considered taking a thermos of booze with me to class to mellow myself out enough to keep from making pissed off noises during class.  So, when I started having a hard time focusing on the homework and feeling twitchy, I just wrote it off as my typical frustration with the class and went to start the slow cooker.
  By this point I had finished the whole pot of coffee, 4 cups worth, and was starting to realize I’d maybe overdone it a little.
  Dinner got started in the crockpot (really) quickly and I got most of a basket of laundry folded before the shakes set in in earnest.
  Now I knew I was in trouble (though I still had no idea just how bad it was going to get) and gave up on the idea that I was going to be able to sit still at a desk long enough to do any school work.  “Oh well”, I thought, “I’ll just get a lot of active stuff, like cleaning, done.”
  That lasted for a little while, but then I started to get the spins.  Here it was, 1pm, and I was feeling like a college freshman who had done too many tequila shots.  I clung to the couch and cursed Folgers, Maxwell House and the other two or three brands of coffee I could think of.
  I was pretty sure that since I felt like I was drunk, using the same general methods to “sober up” would work for coffee.  I poured myself a giant glass of water and scooped up some nice, bland mashed potatoes to soak some of the caffeine out of my system.
  I think I ate about 4 bites before I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything I’d eaten that day.  Throwing up didn’t make me feel better either.  I was nauseous, shaky and had the chills until I fell asleep (much, much later than I wanted, thanks to the remaining caffeine in my system) that night, and my stomach still wasn’t 100% even on Friday.  This all of course was documented in real time on Twitter.
Good news: I have now confirmed my suspicions that coffee is the devil incarnate.
Bad news: I had to go through all the above and feel awful for two days afterwards to prove it.
  Thursday would have been fine, if it hadn’t been for Wednesday.  I spent the entire day feeling like I had a terrible hangover and trying to beleaguer myself into trying to do homework again.  My Mr. got stuck coming home from work, so he was later than my usual “have to leave for class” time.
Good news: I survived Wednesday to get to Thursday.  Late hubby meant I had time to eat dinner before leaving for class this week.
Bad news: I felt awful enough I wasn’t sure I wanted to have survived Wednesday.  Late hubby meant I had to drive like a bat out of hell to get to class on time (thank god for not getting pulled over for speeding).  Also, my camera decided it didn’t want
to take pictures so 97% of my shots for yesterday’s post turned out like the one below.  Maybe my camera was hung over too.
  Friday the 13th, somewhat ironically, treated me the most kindly.
  Pretty much the only snaffoo was that Jehovah’s Witnesses interrupted my playgroup.  It must be they saw the 6 cars in my driveway and thought “paydirt!” to themselves, instead of the more appropriate “Party…I should maybe not bother them.”
  Despite all that, I made it through.  The house is still standing, G is still growing, and despite a somewhat horrific bobble, I’m in good health.
  Here’s to next week.

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