Random ramblings

Swearing is FUN! (and a really bad idea around toddlers)

  I really enjoy swearing.  There have been studies done that show that it is an effective pain and stress reliever…but I just think it’s fun.  Sorry Mom.

  I’m not talking about plain ol, run of the mill, four letter words thrown into conversation willy nilly.  I’m talking about long, complex, drawn out curses that have more to do with word-craft than concise insult.  More, “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries” than “f*** you, mother f***er”.

  I understand when cursing is, and isn’t appropriate.  Swearing around like-minded adults who also enjoy a well crafted cuss, appropriate.  Swearing at work, in a public setting or (especially) in front of children or adults who can’t get past the idea of remembering you when you were “this big”, NOT appropriate.  

 

 That “swearing in front of kids, not appropriate” thing has gotten rather pertinent lately.  The Mr. and I have tried our best to tone it down since G was born, and ESPECIALLY now that he’s becoming a little parrot…but sometimes it just gets weird to try and leave swear words out when you’re trying to quote, read or explain something.  Like, you know, anything on HBO.

 
 …which is actually where pennies come in. 

  A month or so before G’s first birthday, the Mr. and I started watching Deadwood.  (talk about impossible to quote without swearing…)  At one point, the character Calamity Jane starts fining herself a penny every time she swears in front of a child.  One thing led to another and very quickly “penny” became our swear word stand in.
Now look: Here’s a house full of bees. Do you think the honey badger cares? It doesn’t give a shit, it goes right into the house of bees to get some larvae. How disgusting is that? It eats larvae. Eew, that’s so nasty.
But look! The honey badger doesn’t care! It’s getting stung like a thousand times. It doesn’t give a shit. It’s just hungry. It doesn’t care about being stung by bees. Nothing can stop the honey badger when it’s hungry. What a crazy fuck! Look, it’s eating larvae, that’s disgusting. 
Becomes:
Now look: Here’s a house full of bees. Do you think the honey badger cares? It doesn’t give a penny, it goes right into the house of bees to get some larvae. How disgusting is that? It eats larvae. Eew, that’s so nasty.
But look! The honey badger doesn’t care! It’s getting stung like a thousand times. It doesn’t give a penny. It’s just hungry. It doesn’t care about being stung by bees. Nothing can stop the honey badger when it’s hungry. What a crazy penny! Look, it’s eating larvae, that’s disgusting. 
  It’s like magic!  We can once again talk about shows on HBO, read cracked.com aloud and quote our (mostly childless, equally foul-mouthed) friends with impunity!  And if we REALLY need a good rant, there’s a world full of coins just waiting to fill the purpose.
 
“Sac-a-ge-WEA!” “YOU WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT YOUNG MAN!”
  How do you get around swear words in front of your (or other people’s) kids?
**As a note, I don’t know why the text on this one is all messed up.**
** There were a lot of pennies mentioned while I tried to fix it**